Deliberations

Thinking abouting buying this:
Samsung 81cm Integrated HDtuner LCD tv

I need a new computer monitor. The one i've got is blurry on any decent resolution (1024x768) and too blocky, and huge on the highest it isn't blurry (800x640). It's basically a brick as well; a 15" CRT that we got with our second computer when I was in Year 2.

I'd also like a tv. I don't have it on my desk atm but I do have a 34cm block that I could use but it seems to really encroach on my desk. And it feels pretty stupid to have a VCR and Dvd player in my room without one.
I'm also going to be adding to that, and buying a Wii pretty much as soon as it comes out (Dec 7th). The two tv's we have in lounge and rumpus room are both 51cm CRT's, both of which have lost remotes. Aside from the fact that I don't want my little bro to be able to just play it anytime he wants (which he would if it was out there), they wouldn't be making as much as possible out of the Wii.
The screens I've been looking at are also all HD tuner integrated, so i would get better reception than the crappy analogue 34cm (atm it can't pick up ch10 and 7 decently at the same time...)
The con side of this is its just over 2k and that kind of money doesn't come around to me very often. I'd also have to change my room around a bit to fit it in, but it would let me watch things more comfortably (ie lying on my bed rather than cramped in desk chair) than 34cmer. It would also bring back the temptation in semester time to just watch TV/DVD's instead of working.
It would also make me spend more time alone in my room than I do atm. It's that point that's giving me the most hesitation. Is it right for me to want to be alone most of the time? Most of the time that I am I just don't think about it and I enjoy it. But then later when I am around other people I don't try to connect as much, or maybe I just can't. I've been noticing at uni that on the rare ocassions when people ask me to come have lunch or various study related things, my reflex is always to not and to do what I'd do habitually (procrastinate or go home and procrastinate). Most of the time theres some assignment that I can use as an excuse, but the large majority of the time I never end up doing any work on it. Why should I want to run? Within minutes of walking away from these situations I realise I should have said yes and gone. Without my TV this semester, I've found i've overcomed the reflex more. Whether that's because of not having the tv or that I'm finally getting used to uni I don't know.
All these social thoughts keep on leading me back to the question of if I actually want a girlfriend or not. All my 'reasons' for _purposefully_ seeking a relationship don't consider her in anyway. In the end they come down to family and biological pressures: i feel I owe my parents grandkids. It's the same sort of feeling I had during the HSC. My parents never told me that I had to do well 'or else' or verbally pressured me, but I could still sense they expected me to. They don't tell me I need a gf so I can eventually marry her and have kids etc etc etc but they blindly expect me to. I think everyone has a 'dream' of where they want to end up. When I look in that place in my mind I don't see anyone else. I see a large block of land in the bush, and me living in a caravan while I build a house underground. I don't see a wife and kids but I feel I have to do that. It doesn't help to think that my siblings can do that for me. My sister is as bad as me at this sort of thing. For all I know, she might even be gay. She keeps on running off with her best friend, who is openly bi, she's taken to wearing this black braclet with a string of rainbow beads on it and my parents found messages on my brother's phone (her's had been taken off her) that she wanted to run away to london and start a band with her. My brother seems normal enough for now (he's young yet -_-;), but if I stay bachelor, the whole stupid mess will get shoved on him and I don't want that to happen.
And then biologically, the purpose of life is to procreate. Knowledge, skills all pass but that doesn't. I might not see any purpose to mindlessly creating more population, but that doesn't mean there isn't. If I can't see any further purpose, isn't it my responsibility to help keep the game of life going so someone else might?
But in the end this is all intentionally trying to put myself in a relationship and pretty much irrelevant anyway.. Who knows, I could hit it off with someone tommorow, but (back to the point of the original post) its a lot less likely if I enjoy spending time in my room and don't get out.

If you just scrolled down, all that garbage equates to:
I want a tv but I'm scared I'll spend the rest of my life in my room and never have kids if i buy one.

...Hell, my mind is convoluted.